Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
