i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
