Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
