I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
