i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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