where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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