he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
