Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
