This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
