Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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