Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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