if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
