I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my phone needs a breathalizer
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
