And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize