sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
