Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize