I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize