I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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