I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
