dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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