Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
