i think i have two assholes
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
