I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
