he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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