My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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