my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
