going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize