I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
