We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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