Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
