I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
