All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
