I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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