Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
