i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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