A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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