so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
