either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Pants are for mortals
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
