I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
