im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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