While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
