I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
