wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
