No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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