Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
