Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
