I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
