...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize