...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
