Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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