Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
