then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
