Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
