how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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