its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
