Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
