Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
