he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
