I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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