pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
