worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just pee around me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
