Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
