Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize