Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
