it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
