Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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