Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
