You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
