Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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