NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
