i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
