I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
