Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
