I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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