you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
