Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
