The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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