I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
3 2 1 whiskey
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize