You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
